I speak Engrish vry grood

This post is about my inability to speak English to anyone that isn't a native english speaker. One example a while ago, we went to the arts festival and they had artists from other African countries like Ghana where they speak english. I tried to talk to this ghanaian man who I knew spoke english, but I could not do it. I kept mixing it with French and then just staring at him and feeling uncomfortable and then he brought his translator over to speak french to me, even though he knew I was american and spoke english. But I couldn't for the life of me speak English to an African, that's just too weird.

Flashforward to last week. My school was apparently built by some Swedes. I don't really know, I thought it was french canadians, but I guess not? Anyways a group of Swedes and a few from the Netherlands came to visit the school on Friday. The students were made to clean the crap out of the school, to make it look good for them and then we were all supposed to be in the main room at 4 to welcome them. Well 4 comes and goes, the professors start complaining about how they could be having class right now and white people are always on time right Valerie? What? just becuase they come to Africa they can be on African time? No, that's not cool. So, I snicker and say, yeah the nerve of those white people, and watch all the little 6th graders show off to me their long jumping skills. Adorable. They were doing PE and saw me coming and then I told them I wanted to see how well they could jump they go so excited and made me watch every single 61 of them do the long jump and then give me a high five afterwards. A few thought I missed theirs and got really mad at me, until I told them I saw it and it was soooo good!

Eventually at 5 o clock the whiteys roll in and we all go into the main room and the students sing some songs for them/stare at all the old white people. The directrice of the school gets up, welcomes them and makes a list of demands. Hi, thanks for coming, now with all your money please give us all these things. Thanks. Then one guy came up and spoke to the students and turns out almost none of the Swedes who came could speak French, which I found weird, so he translated for them (several students came up to me later and asked if I understood it and I was like no...it was not English. Yes it was. Not it wasn't, not even a little bit. Really? Yeah, not English, Sweedish actually). Then we all left and the Swedes shook all the professors hands and when they came it me I was once again very uncomfortable becuase what do I do? They don't speak french, I have no idea if they speak english, I certainly don't speak Sweedish. So i mostly just smiled and nodded and then one guy was like oh, I know you are American and I said 'yes.' And then he tried to ask me something and I didn't really hear and then he was looking at me expectantly and then I answered him in French and then he just continued to look at me and then i said 'what?' and then we had a incredibly awkward conversation that made me feel super uncomfortable because I couldn't speak English to this man, because I had no idea if he understood anything that I said becuase he just kept looking at me with this blank, expectant expression and then luckily the group had wandered off and I had to tell him they were waiting for him. Phew.

So uncomfortable. Aside from saying random greetings to Burkinabe in English or speaking English to the other American volunteers who I know understand me when I speak English, it would appear I am incapable of speaking English to anyone else that doesn't have English as their native language. Interesting, we'll continue to monitor this situation.

We will also monitor the situation where I can apparently only write in run on sentences. This is significantly more worrisome to me.