Secret bandits

 -Are you sniffing paint?

              Of course I am Lemon I need alcohol, it's the first thing every civilization makes along with weapons...      or shelters to enjoy prostitutes...

Oh 30 Rock, how I love you. Interesting fact, because I'm slowly working to grow my hair out, somedays I can get my hair to look almost exactly like Alec Baldwin's. Head suit. I am not, however, anywhere near as attractive as him. Oh well. Also that quote is 100 percent true, espeically here- people drink like nobody's buisness.

Random things that my neighbors talked about recently.

• The General isn't married but she has a man, whom I haven't met yet but she calls him petit coeur. Which means, little heart. And I think that's the greatest pet name I have ever heard.
• Serge was telling me that M. Mevi, while he's generally quiet and sort of reserved, is secretly a bandit cachee. A secret bandit. Love it, and the more I get to know him the more I feel that is true.
• After his Christmas drinking binge, Serge got really sick and couldn't eat or do anything for a couple of days and he told us that during that time his wife would tease him with her body (I doubt it) and he would say 'non, garde ca. Je ne peus pas maintenant.' (No, save that for later, I can't right now). This may not sound funny to you but trust me, it's hilarious.
• It's fun to be around  my neighbors because they are usually so calm and polite but when they get a little tipsy and have been around each other a lot they start to get really annoyed and a little rude. Which is surprising and a little startling because they are alwats so nice and I'm no longer used to rudeness.
• These men are really awesome and generally pretty good guys. They were talking the other day about how they would just give their wives a bunch of money and tell them to spend it all. On anything, food drinks or whatever, just spend it. Yeah we could save it, but it makes us feel good to give you these things and to see you happy. I'll spend money all day if it will keep a smile on your face.
• In addition to that Serge was saying one day he wanted to be President, for a month and that's it, because for that month he'd just steal money, little by little and after a month go back to his life but with a ton of money. That's how it works here. Why do people need to stay in power for their whole life? They can't possibly do anything with all that money. Just do the job for a while, steal in the meantime and once your time is up, take your wife and go somewhere else and spend all the money you've stolen. Live you life, don't stay in power until everyone gets pissed and come to kill you.
• I was killing time between classes and the kids came to talk to me and then I started looking up pictures of things on Encarta to show them. Things like volanos, anacondas, las vegas, hollywood, the beach, any and all movie stars- once the picture came up of say Brad Pitt they'd all go OOoooohh wow! He's so handsome. Or if they didn't think that they'd all go- ew no, change it, ugly. Really hilarious. Also they thought Titanic was a fake story, and I told them it was real, the movie wasn't 100 percent true but that ship did sink and a bunch of people died.
• The old math teacher at my school calls me 'America.' I find it hilarious.
• I got a little sunburn the other day and every single student that saw me was SO concerned about it, horrified that the sun did that, worried that it hurt me and then told me repeatedly that they didn't like that at all, very upset that the sun did that to me. Adorable.